– Irresolute –
I feel my death knell rattle,
the remnants of my body spread astray
across barren fields of ashen grey
where I once wandered
in the warmth of spring,
in clean and simpler times of living
that I now remember only
as a childish dream.
I wade the mire made by
my haste and irresponsibility.
I walk on half blind,
with one hand tied
behind my back,
and a clutterspace
where my mind should be.
I am restless in my resolutions
to push beyond the limits of my ability,
to endure this grim reality,
to wander through these sleepless nights
that turn into endless days on the run,
into weeks of running circles around me.
Medications and written meditations
soothe the temporary symptoms,
but the pain of that disease
remains ever present.